The journey continues... 18.01.02 - 08:18
Five hits a day? ^.^ Good enough.
Song that appeared in one of the too-many fics I'm in the process of. Which describes too many, really. ^.^o
where will i go?
i don' really know
but it don' matter anymo'
as long as at the end...
i can look one day
to the past and say
it didn't matter anyway...
'cause i walked it with my friends...
walk with me, right by my side
talk to me, please be my guide
i can't see you here
but i can feel that you are near...
take me far, beyond my dreams
where you are, near quiet streams
watch me on my way...
keep me safe, my michizure...
In context, a main character in the story had recently lost her best friend in a terrible act of violence. But it's more than that, really. *Michizure* translates as "fellow traveller" and such people enrich one's life.
Some such people are those whose paths cross yers for a time, then after that time, the paths branch off again. Sometimes, they cross again, but not always. More like not usually, least in my experience.
Other people are those who remain with you. Friends. The kinda peeps who share in yer experiences, yer pains, yer joys, those who know you wanna do the same for them. The kinda peeps who give ya a sorta uplifted feelin' in yer heart, the kinda peeps you wanna give the same feelin'.
Those are the kinda peeps I look for, really.
Yeah, I make mistakes... I get confused, or frustrated, and I don' understand why, and I wanna understand. And sometimes, in an effort to understand where I don', I say things... things that the confused part of me accepts as "right" when so much more of me knows it's wrong... and peeps, friends and otherwise, sometimes get hurt as a result. Slice dolls do have spikes, after all, and as much as I don' wanna hurt anyone, sometimes it happens.
And I'm sorry for those times. I really am.
As to a certain other issue some peeps have with me:
If I had a choice. IF I HAD A CHOICE, then perhaps I woulda been born with an X gender chromosome rather than a Y. Heck, there are benefits, like not havin' to worry about shavin' off facial hair, and heck, society looks more favourably on girls wearin' boy's clothes rather than the other way around. Oh, and there's no worry about gettin' blasted by rather painful "jewel shots."
Naturally, there are drawbacks as well, like periods... and who knows what, but those who deal with it.
I guess the real difference is whether or not you have the option of standin' to pee. In my opinion, one I've held for many, many years, those orifix are intended for the purpose of peeing. And *only* peeing (no matter WHAT biological science says.)
But y'know what? I wasn't given that choice. And while there are surgeries that can ALMOST completely change one to the other, the genetic fact that one of the chromosomes in my DNA is called "Y" would remain. I'd still be male, even if surgery could make me LOOK female... so why bother, eh?
So I can't be sorry for bein' shounen rather than shoujo. It's circumstance, and that's all it is.
Heh, enough of that for now.